Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
do nipples grow back?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
