so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
