then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
