Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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