then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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