Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
