dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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