I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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