my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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