office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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