yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize