I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
