I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Mom said you looked used
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize