My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
