I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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