So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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