Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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