I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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