the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
