i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
