If that was your dad, he is hot
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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