Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
