singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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