why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
