new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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