She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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