they need to just BURY HIM!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize