So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
