It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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