Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
