Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
