I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
