glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
