OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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