she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
