in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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