Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
