We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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