its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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