if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
