The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize