I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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