There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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