His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
