We're facebook friends in real life
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
