I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
