I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
