dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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