i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
