Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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