I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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