I want to stick my p in your. b.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
