if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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