It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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