Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize