bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
