Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
