So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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