I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
